THIS PAGE IS NSFW. The content
discussed is much more distressing than other portions of this site, so
take care when proceeding.
This
page will be a little bit different than the others, because this piece
of media is genuinely shocking and upsetting as opposed to something
playfully creepy and fun. But it's something that I think about and
revisit every couple years or so, so I wanted to talk about it and my
feelings about it. I'll put a link at the end for anybody who still
wants to read it.
This post will talk about Blowfly Girl's blog, where she has posted
several graphic, NSFW stories depicting her unsanitary sexual practices.
She also has several posts talking about her job, her depression, and
more mundane things. The stories involve maggots, garbage, feces, and
dead animals, and also talk about genital injuries. It is presented as
fact and told through blog posts, though it has not necesarily been
confirmed to be true. She writes with a lot of detail, and even her
mundane posts have a very upsetting and sad tone to them, so if you want
to read them, make sure you're in the right headspace to do so. The only
images on the site are her icon, which is a fruit fly, and her banner,
which is a low-resolution photo of a bunch of maggots.
---
I think I probably read Blowfly Girl for the first time in the first
half of high school, so I don't think I've known about her for more than
8 years, max. But in the time since then, I've thought about her and her
posts occassionally, and I always end up going back when these thoughts
arise to peruse her stories again. It's not because I enjoy them, or
because I like reading them. I would recommend most people don't read
her blog, anyway, just because there's no real reason or reward
besides saying, "I read this infamous thing online in its entirety." Her
blog makes me very sad, but it's kind of fascinating, too.
I hope when I say that, it doesn't sound creepy or disrespectful.
There's no proof to any of these stories, but when I read her blog, I
can just feel that it's true. The sentiment expressed in her posts feels
so real to me that I can't imagine somebody writing this as a joke or
for attention, not to mention the fact that she originally posted her
story way back on GeoCities before reposting it on her blog in 2009.
This is all a longwinded way of saying that I believe she's a real,
flesh and blood woman, and that I don't want to treat her or her blog as
a shock site to be passed around willy-nilly and gawked at. I approach
this as the diary of somebody who has been through a lot of things in
her life, and engaged in self-destructive sexual behavior as a result of
it, which is a sentiment that I can empathize with despite the extreme
degree to which her actions took place.
I don't really know how to describe the feeling I get from her blog.
There's disgust at the actions, sure, but the main sentiment is
always... just an extreme wish for her well-being, a desire for her to
be living a life in which she's treated well and content. That probably
sounds dumb. She's a forty year old woman, now - twice my age - and
she's doing her own thing, hundreds of miles away from me, a random
person she's never met and never will. But that's always how I feel.
It's not pity or sympathy. But I guess I wouldn't say I'm sending her
love or anything like that. Maybe just compassion. I don't know what to
call it, exactly.
I've thought about sending her an email before - her last update was in
2017, but her email is still right up on her banner. I don't know if
she'd ever check it. I don't know what I would even say?
"Hi, I read your story online when I was a teenager. I hope you're doing
well. I think about your blog sometimes, and I hope things in your life
are warm and kind to you. That's it, I guess."
I mean, I don't know. If I was her, and I got an email like this, it
would probably be weird. I doubt I'll ever send her anything, but
whenever I think about her again every year or so, I just always take a
minute and conjure up some kind energy for her. I don't really pray or
anything but I hope she can feel that energy, maybe.
She isn't, like, an idol or a celebrity or anything to me. She's just a
normal person out there, who's done some things, and sometimes I think
about those things, and they make me think about my own self a little
bit. Everybody has little pieces of media or quotes or stories that
influence them and this is one of mine. If you still want to read her
blog, the particularly famous post that went around the internet is
here.
I'll mention just once more that this feels a lot different than full-on
shock sites or scary, fun stories, so only read it if you're okay with
that.
That's all, I guess; I just thought about her again tonight, and decided
I wanted to write about her a little bit. I don't know if she can feel
the attention or if she knows people (me) are still talking about her. I
don't know if she'd even still want people to talk about her for this
particular thing. That's probably not something I'll ever know. I can at
least take solace in the fact that I don't distill her existence to the
stories she's put online. Once again I hope that life is treating her
well, and that she's content. If she ever updates again it would make me
very happy to know she's doing well.